Ten things we can do to support our loved ones who are questioning their gender

By Transfamily

1. Love your loved one

They still love you.

2. Remain open to understanding

Gender is complex. Be careful of any assumptions about gender identity. There are many genders on the gender spectrum and everyone’s discovery is unique.

3. Listen

Listen deeply and openly to what your loved one is communicating about their gender identity.

4. Learn

Research and learn about gender diversity and being transgender.

5. Respect privacy

Respect the privacy of your loved one and seek their permission before you have conversations with family and friends.

6. Give it time

Give yourself and your loved one time to adjust to changes. Let your loved one show you in their own way what their gender identity means to them.

7. Give support

Help to make their home, school, work and other environments a safe space for them to express their gender. Research shows family and friend support to be the strongest resilience factor for emotional well-being.

8. Follow their lead

Try to use the name and pronoun your loved one would like you to use. It is okay to make some mistakes as you adjust to these changes.

9. Stay Positive

Take seriously what your loved one has to say and respond positively. Ask your questions and have an honest conversation but also accept the answers.

10. Advocate for trans and gender diverse people

Help to make the broader community a safe place for all genders to live their lives without fear.

Acknowledgement of Country

We acknowledge the Wurundjeri, Boonwurrung, Taungurong, Dja Dja Wurrung, and Wathaurung peoples of the Kulin Nation as Australia’s First People and Traditional Custodians of the land where we work.